Boundaries

Hi readers, it’s Kerry and Emily, this week on a totally different subject, being in a relationship if you have a learning disability.

Once we started chatting, we realised how much we had to talk about on this, and how much we want to share. We’ll start today and come back to this again soon.

This is a difficult area for us, and many of our friends. It came up recently in a Management Committee meeting, as people have been asking for more support to learn how to have a relationship. Things like how to meet people, going on a date, getting support and so on.

It got us thinking today about the basics of being in a relationship. It’s probably being comfortable with a partner. How it’s the same with friendships. Friends are people we feel comfortable with, so maybe it’s best to be friends with someone, before they become your partner!Making and managing friendships can be difficult if you have a learning disability, so we think what’s needed is good support in getting that bit right. To cover area like how to make friends; how to be a good friend; what to say in conversations; what to do if friends don’t do something we like or are unkind; how to manage if a friend gets ‘too much’ like texting us all the time.

Even just saying hello to friends, and others, can be awkward. How do you know if it’s ok to give friends a hug, or kiss on the cheek, when you meet them or say goodbye? When I, Kerry, meet someone, they look down on me as I’m in a wheelchair, so that can be tricky when saying hello and especially if someone wants to give me a hug! More on this soon!

The writers of the Our View column are supported in their editing by People First Dorset - a charity led and run by people with learning disabilities with support from staff